Over the years I’ve “triggered”many people. Much of what I teach and the wisdom of life that I’ve figured out are things that many seems to be in denial about. And when we’re in denial (in the brain) we get “triggered”, because we’re triggered in the soul, and the brain’s job is to protect us, deny deny deny…..it’s all lies!! A few over the years and in recent times on my new this year YouTube channel have been very vocal in the beginning and thought some of my ideas were outrageous, how dare I say such things, I must be the DEVIL they said! Some of these people were even angry with me for my blasphemous statements on infidelity or people who focus on money and security and think that’s love. (usually because of things their parents programmed them with as children growing up) But for many the “slow medicine” of what I was saying crept in, as I knew it would, because it always does. Truth is powerful medicine, the result is facing reality which leads to growth and improvement.
Fact is if something someone says bothers you enough to get angry, especially if there’s nothing factually false about it then it has triggered a likely buried truth hidden within you. I mean seriously let’s be logical for a moment. Who would defend a narcissist? Who would defend a cheater or a liar? Who actually thinks money and career bring pure happiness without true love? I’ll tell you who, a person who knows deep down that I’m or you are talking about them!! If they truly have a happy marriage, or are truly happy, or are not living with or are themselves a narcissist or materialistic then there’s no need to get angry and defend a non-existent position is there? People defend things such as their marriage because they need to in order to keep the pretense up.
The real sign of triggering is if you get angry or defensive. We don’t need to defend the truth, and as the great Judge Judy often says, we don’t need to “think about” the truth. That’s a real cool way to see if someone is full of shit or not. How long does it them to answer your question? But after people speak their defense and later cool down my words or your words cause them to think…… well….. that’s a tell-tale sign that it’s something their soul has been trying to tell them and they were likely hiding it from themselves. Likely as well causing these triggered folks great stress and anxiety which probably reflects into the outside world and their day to day life, often causing fits of anger and lashing out at times. The soul hates to be suppressed, so it fights back, with truth and love missiles. Yet for most people suppression is what they do. Usually in favor of keeping some sort of perceived “peace” in their lives. Ironically through the process of suppression they end up creating anything but peace, because peace comes from inside and then moves to the outside.
Psychology tells us we only get upset when something hits home. When something we’re hiding from ourselves gets poked, forcing us to look at it. Shattering our illusions and pretenses. Usually this is something our soul is well aware of but our brains distract us away from facing it. (If you prefer you can replace the word “soul” with “emotional-true-self”, same difference really.) Our brains distract us by focusing on work for example, so we don’t have to deal with emotion, or worse yet so we can stay in a toxic long dead relationship for reasons usually involving keeping others happy rather than ourselves. I call this applied “Costanza logic”. It’s the logic behind what George Costanza taught us on Seinfeld years ago, “If they can’t find you they can’t fire you“. It’s that same sort of hide under the desk principle. As I’ve often written life is to be FELT, not thought. Don’t be Mr. or Mrs. Spock. However ideally life requires an equal balance of the two, thought and feeling.
As I said if we get upset over something we read or what someone says usually it’s because their statements or the topic has “triggered” something within us. Something I wrote many years ago in what seems like another life dealt with infidelity. And that triggered several thousand people. And boy did I hear from them. And I’m happy about that because that was why I wrote it.. The smart one’s later thanked me for that triggering as they learned a thing or two about the psychology of it all, which saw one person in particular even catching their spouse cheating “AGAIN” based on something I wrote. Good for her!!! My point is as triggering goes no one who wasn’t cheated on or who never themselves cheated got upset with me about what I wrote. Why would they?? It didn’t apply to them. It was just useful and in places interesting information about the psychology of people who lie and do things for selfish reasons. Being triggered by something is how we find out what we’re burying deep down. It’s important to look at these things. Be it pain, or a repressed memory from childhood it’s never a good idea to look away, and as I’ve written before it’s dangerous in my opinion and the opinion of countless psychologists to put a band-aid on it with silly daily affirmations, or worse yet just sweep it all under the carpet with meds, alcohol and distractions.
All of the above is an example of the slow medicine of triggering. Many rolled around to it, took the medicine, learned and grew. Sometimes the universe puts people and/or situations in front of us to “show” us something we’re either missing or ignoring. I learned very quickly that my role in those of those around me both online and for most of my life offline was that of a catalyst for change. The idea man if you will. The one who triggers. Truth is I’ve always played that roll in the lives of my friends and family.
To get back on topic I’ll add a bit of reflective wisdom, philosophy, and a pinch of science if I may… Life is short. But what most fail to realize is just how short. They think “oh I’m only 38 I have plenty of time.” Time is a construct of man. If you’re my age (40’s) in the blink of an eye ago for me now being 45 I was 25 and so were you. One more blink and we’ll all be 65. And that second 20 years will go much faster than the first due to what scientists believe is a slight almost undetectable change in our core liver temperature as we grow older which alters our perception of the passage of time. Sort of like how time appears to go slow on a hot day, but seems to go by more quickly on a cold one. We lose in fact 1 month per year of time perception per decade of our lives beginning at age 10. This means that by age 70, 1 year feels like what 5 or 6 months felt like to us when we were a child. Do you remember how long summer vacations felt when we were kids? It was forever, we were FREE, YAY last day of school muckrakers!!! Now these days, summers go by in a blink.
Slow medicine is slow anyway. Best not make it even slower by looking away from the things you need to look at and address to be “truly” happy. Not fake happy with pretense where you smile at parties and in public then argue in the car on the way home, or worse just stare out the window in silence. Then at home drink yourself to death and numb the pain with meds. That’s bollocks, come on!! If you don’t open up and start letting the slow medicine do its job you’ll find yourself in the blink of an eye an elderly person with a lot of unresolved issues and regrets. If your my age that day as I said is just a blink away. And even if you’re in your 20’s and reading this, it’s only 2 blinks aways. And let me add one last piece of psychology here. If you’re reading this and “think I’m describing you”, than you can bet your ass I am!! Because not one person who doesn’t identify with what I’m typing here would wonder that!!
The good news is it’s not too late. 2020 in particular had a lot to teach all of us. The universe put a lot of situations, things, and people in front of me, and all of you last year. Speaking for myself I learned from every bit of it. I took the slow medicine, and it surprisingly wasn’t that slow once it took hold. I just let it flow though me. I used what I learned from all my experiences last year to expand my life and self exponentially emotionally and spiritually, which in-turn as a by-product led to financially as well, and on top of that a YouTube channel called Steve’s Love Tarot which many of you seem to enjoy and get something out of.
If you’re reading this and you think you’ve missed the lessons i.e. slow medicine that last year or even the year before had to teach you, you haven’t! We all make mistakes. Sure, maybe you turned right when you should have turned left. Maybe you made a choice based on a false and in some cases undeserved sense of loyalty to someone and you backed the wrong horse. You put your trust in the wrong people or person (AGAIN in some cases), maybe for the 2nd or 3rd time in fact. People who lied to you once and you didn’t learn when they showed you who they really were, only to find it’s no surprise they’re still the same shit they always were and you’re still sitting where you were at the beginning of it all, feeling the same pain!! No worries, you simply fell prey to human nature.
Always remember people are who they are at their core, and when someone shows you who they are, when you get to peek behind the curtain it’s the universe or (GOD) trying to show you something for your own good and growth, and that’s the slow medicine, that’s the lesson you were supposed to learn. Believe me if someone tells you 1 lie, there’s 100 more you don’t know about. Nobody does anything just once, and it’s never the first time when you catch them. My favorite is always cheating. If they cheated once, psychology and statistics will tell you that’s just the one time you caught them. Don’t be a dumb ass there are many more, and statistically speaking they’ll do it again too. Any judge, cop, or doctor will tell you the same thing. People don’t confess ALL their sins, just the one’s we corner them on by catching them. If you put your heart in the meat grinder a second time and expect a different result i.e. a un-crushed heart, that’s on you! But I argue so what!!! Don’t beat yourself up about it or wallow in regret, that’s a useless waste of energy and more importantly LIFE!! Hey, it happens to all of us. It’s all still in the end a dose of “Slow medicine”, and learning lessons is part of the magic of life. Meaning that wrong turn or wrong decision or shit person is still a learning experience to grow from, and hopefully smarten up and move away from. Negative energy only attracts negative energy. Like energy attracts like energy, be it electricity or the energy of the universe the physics are the same. But you won’t learn, grow or gain anything if you live your life emotionally shut down. The Litmus test for this involves a little self-honesty. If what you show people during the day is fake happiness, or what a friend of mine often calls a “plastic smile” is in dark contrast to what’s really going on deep in your soul, i.e. when you’re alone at night you’re sad, can’t sleep, or worse binge drink in the corner as you pop anxiety meds just to numb the misery. That’s not living, there’s your sign!!! But that requires TRUTH within yourself or someone else you’re trying to get to wake the fuck up.
Many people cannot be honest with even themselves, so that little test will only work on a few. Denial isn’t growth, nor is it learning either. But the good news is that misery can easily be addressed and put to rest by facing it head on, by having an honest conversation with yourself and popping the “slow medicine” that’s always on offer in our lives.
A little dramatic? Maybe!!, but that’s part of my charm most tell me. And hey, I’m a professional writer now anyway so I have put some flair into it. lol As anyone who knows me will tell you I’m quite soft-spoken in real life. I don’t just give advice to people off the cuff. I usually only speak when spoken to. But I’m writing here, I’m sharing a point of view, it’s part of the job. If you don’t like it, don’t read it, pretty logical no?! One can’t be soft-spoken in a blog or no one will listen let alone read 3000 words. With friends and family I’m good for a laugh, we laugh a lot actually. I often describe my life when asked as a sit-com that I didn’t audition for and I can’t seem to get cancelled. It’s funny and fun most of the time, but I do wish the cast would learn their lines. lol
Here with my writing and even on the videos I’m trying to make a point, and a sad one at that. What I described here in this article is a synopsis of countless messages and emails that I received from people actually living this way, in this denial element. So to them and all of you I say smarten up!! It’s your life, don’t waste it!! Don’t let the expectations of others or idiotic childhood programming from your parents ruin your life. That’s unfair, that’s what’s mean, not me!! I’m not mean….. I’m just writing the truth here, and speaking it on videos. Nothing I’ve said either here or on the vids is incorrect or even illogical. Most of it in fact is rooted in real science and real psychology.
The only real failure in life is in failing to learn the lessons put before us. It’s always the universe or (God) if you will that puts them there. But for those of you who are thinkers not feeler I’ll say this. The brain can’t learn the lessons, in fact its job is to ignore them, and that’s your problem. Only the soul can learn life’s lessons. The brain’s job is to process them once learned. This is why religion is often difficult for thinkers to fully grasp. They approach it from the wrong angle. Religion is based on faith, and faith is felt in the soul, not thought in the ego (brain). It must be felt first BEFORE it can be analyzed by the brain. Not unlike religion the lessons the slow medicine of the universe has to teach us need to be felt first, then processed in the brain. Not the other way around as many people fail to ever learn. The brain will simply deny all of it and refocus on what it knows, which is usually practical concerns and logical considerations. Which in the end teach you nothing and leave your life stuck in a bit of a stalemate with one’s self. A stalemate of exclusion of new people and experiences rather ironically through pain caused by others, or worse yet our own inaction and indecision, i.e. “playing it safe”. All of which leaving us with an end result of feeling trapped. Which in-turn perpetuates the circle of anxiety, depression, and general discontent many in our society find themselves in.
In closing, slow medicine is slow yes that’s very true. Sometimes it takes people a decade or more to figure out one lesson. It depends on their level of self-awareness and enlightenment. Me, well, I pay attention, I’m emotionally open, I tell people how I feel about them honestly. I’m honest with myself about how I feel as well. I’m grateful for every lesson I’ve learned over the years of my life, and I’m grateful in advance for the many more sure to come. But all of the lessons I’ve learned so far in life have blended together to give me wisdom, courage, and a little pinch of get up and go spirit. Not because I’m particularly a go-getter. But because I’m just so damn curious to see what’s next. As I’ve said many times I’m addicted to learning. I love to learn new things, meet new people, and explore new territory. I try to learn something new every day in fact. For example I’m an avid gardener as many of you know, and yesterday for example I learned that Dandelions are important and we shouldn’t weed them, they actually are doctors for the soil, and when their surgery is done they go away on their own. (huh,,, I never knew) Anyway, that curiosity I have for learning and exploring drives me, and I hope it inspires all of you.
Because I promise you, I don’t care what fancy college you went to, what your IQ is, who you know, how popular you are, or what books you’ve read. The greatest classroom, the fanciest college of them all, is life itself. The problem is that many people neglect to live it, they take a pass on the classes and lessons on offer. Which is really stupid (yeah I said stupid) because for the most part those classes… those lessons and opportunities for growth that life offers us are 100% free, and there’s no entrance exam to get in, nor does your daddy have to be a senator or a king. The only requirement is that we’re emotionally open enough to take the slow medicine on offer. The sad part is…. most never do.
Speaking for myself I’m never impressed with 3D credentials, big fancy degrees or famous friends. No…. I’m impressed with the person.. Or not in many cases… lol
— cheers
